I've found new motivation to change my habits. I've decided to quit smoking August 24th (the day Jimmy leaves for boot camp and has to quit as well) and I'm also trying out recovery (self) over a problem that I have been dealing with for longer than I can remember. I've come to the realization that no one wants me to see the way I want to see myself, physically, and I also do not want this 'disorder' to destroy more relationships. I want to be able to accept myself for who I am, no matter what numbers read out each morning. I'm sick of letting such a small thing rule my life. Each day, it's like my mood relies on these numbers, and it shouldn't be that way.
We'll see. I'm happy. I'm careless.
Oh, and this is definitely who I am, and I'm sick of hearing that it's not from people who no longer know me or associate with me. Everyone changes. For four years I was a person that someone else made me out to be, living a life full of restriction. And now I'm free, and finally finding myself after so long, and I have all these great things ahead of me. Everything in my life has so much potential right now to turn into something great. And I'm really grateful to have that right now. I don't think I ever did before.
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1 comment:
Good luck darling! I will be there every step of the way for you :)
And the numbers, screw it. Who says you have to be that size? Eat comfortably and stay healthy... and be happy with who you are. Corny, but true. We all know it makes things much easier to deal with..one less thing to worry about!
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