Leaving

I'm leaving.

I'm so extremely hurt by everything. I'm tired of the way I feel when I live here, and how unwelcome I am. I'm sick of having the world expected from me. I'm sick of being ashamed because I can not put myself through college or buy a car, though with the two of those, my parents are the ones who've held me back.

And I'm so extremely tired of how manic you both are. One day, I have the world to wait to do something drastic. The next, you've given me a set time of two weeks to do something nearly impossible if it were by your own standards.

I guess this is the day I've been expecting for a while now. I'm being pushed out the same way you were by your father, only two months later. I know what I'm about to do will have reprocussions on our relationship for the rest of our lives. I'm aware. There's going to be the same distance that is present with your parents. I feel like I am ruining everything we've had, but that's not true. That was ruined a long time ago.

Now, you'll have a house without me. It will be easier, I assume, because I'm only an irritation in your "picture-perfect" life. The art of having a grown daughter must be too much work. Not like it matters, since I don't contribute. The money I have and spend to help out really doesn't count, I guess.

I hate Windham, New Hampshire. Almost everything that has ever broken me, has happened here. I'm sick of the way this small town's borders strangle me. I'm glad to shake this town off my skin.

So here it is, the time to grow up. I know it will not be easy. But, living here wasn't either. I'll actually be able to accomplish something in the real world.