Trying hard to stay above.

I've been such a silly girl lately :).

I really feel as though my art is moving along. I'm an artist, therefor, I'll never be content with what I produce, but lately I've been spitting out things that make me want to show the world. I want to tell a story. Always. I feel like it is the one meaning of my life. I'm here to live and show everyone else. I show through artwork. Now, my artwork is beginning to become clearly, therefor the story is more straight, with heavier details. I'm such a perfectionist when it comes to art, and it's ironic, because perfection is something I will never reach.



I've been really stressed lately, and find myself nearly crying at everything negative. It mostly has to do with my family, but I just get flat out frustrated when I can't get what I feel is neccessary, or something doesn't go as planned.

I've been trying to keep my head above the water, though. I've got this amazing man who takes me on adventures offroading, makings me yummy snacks and food that is so good, I actually eat it. He wears matching pumas that I bought him, and he buys me amazing band shirts (thaticannotwaittoweartomorrow!!!) Lately, we've been spending as much time as possible together, which is a lot better than the weekends-only bullshit I had to put up with for the better half of the year. Now that the weather is better, I'm letting myself be freed up, spending more time outside and comfortable. I love fresh air.

Today was nice. I rolled out of bed with messy wavy hair, and did not put a straightener or brush to it once. I just clipped it back in clip and threw on some makeup and a comfy worn in sweater. I love feeling comfortable, there is something just beautiful in it that goes beyond looks. I sucked down a large cup of black coffee, and was off. I relied on my coke zero to keep me awake all day, but I barely had an appetite, which felt completely amazing. I came home and sat in my yard with my dog for hours, snapping photographs of anything.

I realized today that I'm really lonely without a best friend, but I'm awfully picky and feel completely hopeless in trying to find someone that I will actually get along well with. Fuck it. If it happens, it happens. It wont.

I think it's time to curl up and sleep. :)