Breathing smoke.

Why can't things ever go smoothly for me? Why can't life let me have two good days in a row. Fuck the theory that states that you're always going to have level emotions. You'll be really happy, but then something bad will happen, causing you to be extremely sad. Resulting in equilibrium. Fuck that.


Fuck the fact that I can't stand being around nearly anyone anymore. Fuck the fact that I obviously need new friends, and a new take on life. Fuck that fact that I feel like I'm going backwards and not accomplishing shit. Fuck the fact that I will grow up never knowing what I want to be in life, or never grow up because of that single reason. You can't grow if you don't know what you're growing into. How is growing possible if you don't even know the borders, or how far you're going to grow. What are the restrictions? What direction?

Fuck Fuck Fuck.

I'm crawling into bed and dissolving into either sleep or a book.