May Day Parade.

Hello May.

I am sitting here in an absolute fog. Where has my life taken me now? I'm heartbroken, alone, living. I don't know how I feel about anything because my opinion changes every minute.

I miss you. I'm sure you know. I'm sure you probably hate it more than I do. You don't want me to miss you. You're probably so over this and everything there is that has to do with me.

Four years. Of what? Of us. Us us us. We changed. But we lived inside each other's lives. Now we live seperately. We don't talk. This is teenage heartbreak. I know. I will grow and live and learn and wake up someday and not think of you. I know.

But that day seems so far away, and everytime I wake up I feel like I've taken a step backwards, not forward.

I've been living, having fun, enjoying my life and the freedom I've found. It probably looks so badly, in your eyes. What I'm doing now. You've upgraded and I've downgraded. I don't see it that way though. But I'm positive you do.

I am not a bad person. I know this. But I also know how easy it is to judge, for you especially. And you're the last person in the world I should care to impress right now. But I want to. I don't want you to see me and feel as though you got waste out of your life. I am going places, and so are you, and we can thank each other for that. You were the best thing that ever happened to me. And this will be, too, someday.