
I had an uneven sleep last night, and between dreaming big dreams that seemed to last for hours, but really only 10 minutes, and adjusting my blankets and blinds, I heard my father leave out the side door, and start his car. He left. He's only left twice before, both times when my mother had cheated on him. I feel abandoned, and I feel sad for the both of them. They clearly aren't happy together, and for once I'm not the only one aware of their perfect world falling apart. They see it too, and I think they're really starting to understand.
I ripped off all of my acrylic nails on the way home tonight, and it took up the 35 minute drive completely. I'm done with fake things that only put holes in my pockets. All it was, for me, a confidence booster, but I realize it makes me look fake. I've painted over the peeling, weak nails with enamel made to help strengthen them again, and over that, black. I'm being simple, for once. Such small details aren't important anymore, or worth it.
I received my check from the government today - $300. That really helps a lot with my situation, and it's going straight to my checking, bringing me up to over $700 in there alone. Ray and I are going to work together on buying me a car, because I need one desperately. I'm so glad all this money is flowing in.
Tonight, I went jogging with Ray and Charlie around 10:30 pm through Merrimac. I'm glad I had brought up the idea, I really want to get back into the same habit I was in less than a month ago. My joints feel worn and tired, and so does my mind. I'm going to fill a cup with cool water, drink it down, and rest into bed. I've felt sick all day, no doubt from all the stress, and I need to be up tomorrow at 8:30.
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