
Two years ago today, I moved into this split level house in Windham, New Hampshire. Two years ago, I was settling into my brand new bed, in an unfamiliar room, in a strange town. Two years ago, I felt alone, but hopeful. Hopeful in the opportunity to change schools and finally be who I wanted, and not what I always had been. Hopeful in the new hobbies I'd pursue, hopeful in keeping strong bonds with all I had known back home, and hopeful in getting a clean break.
In two years, I have lost my boyfriend twice. In two years, I have gotten back together with him twice. In two years, I've been scarred more than I ever believed possible. In two years, I've lost nearly all of my friends. In two years, I've learned to hate most of them, and not miss any of them. In two years, I've attended my last years of high school. In two years, I've forgotten what it was like to have a friend in every class, or even know the majority of the people in my graduating class. In two years, I've realized there are far more interesting people out there, than within a school of 900. In two years, I've realized a school of 2300 is full of diversity, but I still couldn't find anyone like me. In two years I've realized I can't find a best friend to replace those I had. In two years I've realized that is the absolute best. In two years, I've learned to be independent. In two years, I've found something that feels like my calling. In two years, I've had two seperate jobs. In two years, I've gotten my license. In two years, I've smoked on and off. In two years, I've really only quit once. In two years, I've lost all my strength. In two years, I've found it, and made myself ten times stronger. In two years, I've learned to have self image problems, and I've learned how to deal with it. In two years, I've been at my lowest and highest weight. In two years, I've only grown into my nightmares, instead of out of. In two years, I've lost my virginity, my innocence. In two years, I've learned the value of trust and of love. In two years, these walls have absorbed more than their fair share of tears, laughter, love, and loneliness.
In two years, I've changed greatly.
1 comment:
This was very moving... thank you for sharing.
-Ray
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