Sunday, May 4, 2008

In a perfect world.

There's nothing more rewarding than when I ask are you happy?


yes. yes, you are very happy.

I'm glad you're happy with the way we are. The way we melt through evenings under sheets, watching television and giving each other back rubs. I'm glad you find the same happiness in the way we watch things like The Never Ending Story, and just laugh the entire time. We're still kids at heart, most of the time. I'm glad you appreciate my lacking skill to buy you TWO pieces of a high performance air filter, but fail to get you the most important part, it seems. I'm glad you're happy with the way I'd rather just spend the day with you, relaxing and being mellow, instead of with a large group of friends. I'm glad you're happy bringing me to concerts full of important bands to me, concerts I will always remember, even in it rips a massive hole in your pocket.

I know I'm really happy.

I thought about how happy you make me the whole ride home, on the dead highways with nothing but black in the rearview mirror. I thought about it all through the backroads of this dead town, while feeling like I was the only one living here. I thought about it down the darkest streets where families were already dead asleep, their front lights off, everyone home and safe. I thought about it as I pulled into my pitch dark driveway, the lights to welcome me home completely absent. I thought about it as I fumbled for my keys in the dark, wondering why I'm locked out again, even though they knew I was coming home. I thought about it as I entered my house where my dog barked at me like a stranger, and no one said hello, or goodnight, or asked me how my day was. I thought about it as I prepared my bed for just my body. Such a big bed, just for me. For me to spend the night alone in.

But all I could think about is when I'll be pulling into our driveway, and I know the lights will always be on, even in the earliest hours of the morning. I thought about how I'd walk into my house without needing a key, because you'd leave the door open and hall light on for me. How I'd slip into my pajamas quietly, and lock the house up. Then, I'd creak into our bedroom, trying not to wake you, and slide into bed after a night at work, and you'd put your arms around me, and you'd ask me how things went today, and how glad you were that I was home, and we'd exchange stories of our day. Then, you'd kiss me goodnight, and tell me you love me, and I'd never have to go to bed alone again.

You're all I need.

No comments: