100.5 degrees inside my body.

I'm sick. SO sick!

I can't even write a normal entry or anything. I feel like I'm falling apart; deteriorating. Like every piece of myself is painfully peeling off my body like little fingers clawing at the bark of a tree. Soon enough, I'll float away, or maybe shiver into inexistance. I wonder if that is even possible. It sure feels like it could be right now.

I'm wearing your pajamas and crying because I can't stand this. I can't stand not being around you, especially right this moment. I need you to hug me and kiss me and keep my warm and sleep with me so when I wake up thrashing in the middle of the night because of a fever-induce nightmare, you can help me steady my glass of water and rub my back while I try to wake up and shake myself out of whatever I was experiencing. I want you to tell me that I'm okay and that I'm not going to die and that I'll be fixed into my ear while you hold my hand. I need your sweet forehead kisses and protective body that I fit so comfortable inside of, between your arms and heart.

I hate being away, and I hate feeling like everything is just in a downwards spiral. I hate being hysteric and babbling about how I don't understand why I always get so sick through tears by myself. I hate that everything is so awful right now, and I don't know where to go from here.

I'm breaking apart.